2014 Christmas. When I was King.

All the cog in the machinery that made it possible are gone. 2017 took a lot of my people with it. Movers, shakers, money people. Good people. I didn't realize that when you're trying to build up, when your building, certain things come along at the right time to strengthen what you're doing, the add-ons come along in order when the time and at a certain time and place. The Perfect Storm. They're not just something that's automatic this is what I'm finding hard to deal with as I m trying to rebuild. I thought I could recreate that magic and finding it difficult that I can't, that I have to find another path, that I have to build another road, that I literally have to start from the very beginning, with no guarantee of succeeding. No longer a One Percenter. not expensive wedding collections for maternity bride

At fifty and some, I never thought I would find myself on the firing line of starting over. I witnessed too many men start over brought on from divorce, some from losing jobs late in the game, bad investment, terrible decision making, bad women. I never saw family coming as a reason for my fallback.

Everyday I'm reminded how I was on cruise control, not a financial worry in the world, my ligetimate business was growing like crazy. I was doing crazy numbers $30,000 gross a month and all I was doing was growing, I had quality people around me, shit I did $50,000 gross the month of my bogus arrest.

So why do I keep writing you and boring you with the same shit. I have to it keeps people safe as I vent. I ride the bus to school daily, the same building I had my driver drop me off at when I had parenting classes. All my cockiness now gone... well most of it.

The State agents are putting down the screw's. I beat them and there's a price to pay. I'm due for nervous breakdown, high blood pressure, weight gain, my health is not as good as it used to be but I push forward using what I have... yeah... yeah...

Sink or swim.